The Google+ Project: Invite-Only

Most of you who are familiar with Social Networks have heard of or used Facebook, Twitter, and the now “out of style” services like MySpace, Friendster, etc.

Well, no surprise here that Google is throwing their hat in the ring (again).  Now we have “Google+“ which is very similar to Facebook, but is supposed to be less spam-y (for now while it isn’t open to the public) and more user friendly.  You can read about the features and info on Google+ here and here.

I haven’t been using Google+ for very long, but so far some of the features that are far better than Facebook are the “Circles”, (which are a much easier way to add your friends to different categories right away and access the different groups easily in the sidebar) and also the fact that you don’t have to actually go to a website and “log in” like the other Social Networks.  If you google something or have gmail, you will automatically have a small black bar at the top of your web page that you can just click on when you’d like to access your Google+ account/profile/updates.

G+ screenshot

Now to compare Social Networks on a scale of 1-10 in “Total Assholery”.

Assholery includes things like friend requests from strangers, ad-spam, friend “suggestions” that seem to be pulled from someone’s ass and are never anyone you know (no thanks, 45-year old fat dude from Texas!), perverted comments/meat-market atmosphere, etc…

MySpace:  Assholery Level 10– This site is so spamiful, atrocious, stupid, and filled with perverts that there is absolutely no reason to log on.  Not even to bother deleting your account.

Twitter:  Assholery Level 8– Twitter is fine for a quick “hot news” fix or if you care enough to read just updates from random people/celebs, but unless you’re an advertiser, this isn’t the best way to keep in contact with actual friends.  You won’t see more idiotic details of people’s lives anywhere else at this level.

Facebook:  Assholery Level 7– I’m being generous in only giving FB a 7 because in overall spam and nonsense, they are far worse than twitter.  However, at least they have redeeming values that allow you to find/chat/contact your friends and family as well as keeping up with news/gossip AND playing mind-numbing (but fun) games all in one place.  But their is such a huge number of ads, spam, viruses, and general assholery (“suggestions” from FB for people/things you have no interest in, meatmarket behavior, etc) that it’s likely to fail like MySpace sooner rather than later.

Google+:  Assholery Level 4–  So far, so good.  No major ads, no complicated features, and pretty accurate “friend suggestions” (I actually found some real-life friends instead of strangers just by glancing at the “circle suggestions”).  Another feature is the “hang-outs” which allows up to an 8 person video chat (buh-bye shitty FB chat!) as well the regular stuff like status updates and such.  Organizing friendships is a breeze there!  The only assholery thus far are the glitches that any new site has and a couple of missing features (the +1 button you see regularly now don’t “connect” with your Google+ like the Facebook “Like” button does, for example).  Nothing major, though and I’d recommend giving it a try!

For now, Google+ is invite-only, so if you’d like an invite please post your email address clearly and I will be happy to send one to you.  Please note that Google+ determines when and how many invites can be sent out, so I can only send them during the open-invite-windows. 

Post email addys below in the comments or email me at Nein2232@gmail.com for your invite.
***Updated Note:  If you receive your email containing the invite and you get a message saying “we have reached full capacity”, make sure you save the email/invite and just try again the next day.  From what I understand the open the invite window at least once per day, so don’t discard the invite or email!!***

XO,

LR

Related articles

• Yes! I Got Invited To Google+! (lifenbits.com)
• What’s the Deal with MySpace Tom and Google+? (pcworld.com)
• Google+ Gets The Social Network Parody Treatment [VIDEO] (mashable.com)
• LinkedIn CEO says Google+ can’t coexist with other social networks (digitaltrends.com)
• How social networks grow (beingpeterkim.com)

Modern Times Kicking Some Ass

Stop whining, modern times are awesome!

And the explosives are way better, too.

As you may recall, I absolutely LOVE dry humor sites and have always been a Cracked.com fan (the articles are absolutely addicting) and I’ve linked them many times here for the humor.

What I also like is that they back up their humor/stories/articles with actual links to facts and new info that is kinda an awesome way to find out the “new” without reading constantly depressing shit, depressing/angry blogs, and the horror stories and cry-ass bitching you hear about “modern times” everywhere else.

You hear sooooo many people complaining about how much better everything was “way back when”.  Whether it’s gender roles, health, family values, crime, way of life, morals, etc….you hear the same tired old shit in every generation about how DOOOOOOMED this generation is and how we’ve all destroyed the planet with our mere presence.

Things have climbed steadily uphill in the past 10, 20, 50, and even 100+ years in several different areas.

Modern times are actually kicking some major ass in some pretty important areas of interest like AIDS, health, environmental issues, traffic fatalities, and *gasp* even TEEN PREGNANCIES!  (That’s a little slap for the woman-haters out there who claim our generation of women are such slutty-slut-planet-ruiners)….

That’s right, grandma and her friends make us all look like virgins in comparison. 

Anyway….for a good-mood-boost in the midst of the blogosphere darkness and news-ghouls-anti-happiness-serum, check out one of the latest Cracked.com articles:  “7 Pieces of Good News Nobody Is Reporting”

*Don’t forget that lots of other things have been improving and that we can safely say:  “It is safer to go to bed and leave your doors unlocked now than it was back in 1950″ (and you’d be accurate in that statement)!  Lots to be in a “good-news-mood” about. 

I’m a Slacker!!

Hey now!

What a slacker I’ve been the past couple of months here!

I swear I haven’t forgotten you all and abandoned my blogging days.  As some of you know, my work schedule has been craaaaazy since I started a new job back in March and the madness continues for me Monday through Saturday……booooo!

It’s been totally kicking my ass, but now that I’ve gotten a bit used to the schedule, I hope to be kicking my own ass into posting more often again.  I think I need to catch up on what’s going on in the blogosphere!  I’m sure I’ve missed plenty and you guys will fill me in!

Let me know of any topics/subjects of interest or people we like to mock who are saying crazy things, so I can get back into the swing of things here! 

I’ve missed you all during my recent blogging-slumber!

 

XO,

Lady R

My Son Turned 7! My God How Time Flies!

Caeden's Cake

My son turned 7 years old on Friday, April 8 and we had his birthday party today (Sunday April 10, 2011) and it’s sooo hard to believe that I have been raising him for 7 years already.  Not to be sentimental…..but jesus….I feel like I was just putting onsies on him yesterday and this many years has passed!!!

When it was around 10:30pm the other night on his birthday and I was reflecting on his birth (that’s what time he was born) I just imagined how fast the NEXT 7 years would go and I can’t believe that time around I’ll be saying:  “Wow, I can’t believe he’s 14 years old now….”

Anyway….enjoy your kids, ladies and gentlemen!  The time goes by SO fast and they grow and change so quickly….and guess what?  So do we!  As adults we think we have all the time in the world to do X, Y, and Z….but life is short and we need to just live and enjoy our lives, friends, and most importantly our families we love so much!

Here’s just a couple of pics from today of me, my sis, the fam, my son, and even my ex who likes to come to every birthday my son has.  My son had a great day! 

Love those who love you back, my friends

My sister (left) and me (right) today at my son's birthday party

Me and my gorgeous, perfect son

Me & one of my exes, Vince doing our "prom pose"

My nephew (left), my son (cake), other nephew (right), and my ex behind them (I think that's a blur of my mother in there, too)

My nephew, Nikolas (left), my son (w/ cake), my nephew, Ransom (right) and my sis (back)

Nikolas (nephew left), Caeden (my son middle), Ransom (right), my sis (back), and my other nephew Bobby (far back)

Fuck it....there's too many to list! The Fam!!!

Nikolas, Caeden (birthday boy), and Ransom

My sis (left) and me (right): This one is from my nephew's phone so it's super-blurry

Blaming Women for the Decline of Men?

I think we’ve all heard the rather ridiculous arguments surrounding the fact that women/girls are more motivated in today’s society than boys/men are.  Women are essentially “overachieving” in academics and in the workplace as well and there have been many alleged “educated” voices who have placed the blame on women and women’s rights for the failures of men.

Fortunately, this is untrue.  Women’s Rights is not to blame for men/boys underachieving in school/academics and in the same vein…..neither is “male confusion” about their roles in society today as opposed to 1950.  Blaming women’s successes in society/academia has never been a reasonable argument for finding the catalyst in male decline in society.

These are two common arguments you hear coming from bloggers, anti-feminists, and even educated writers and yet they are all still illogical and lacking in cohesive facts at BEST.

So I felt that this article was a great one for discussions here.

There’s so much finger-pointing in our society in general, that it’s hard to see through the clouds of cry-assery and blame to figure out where the actual problem lies.  This article helps debunk where the problem does NOT lie.  And that’s in Women’s Rights or Feminism.

This is from an article I found interesting written in Psychology Today by Leonard Sax MD, Phd (Physician, Psychologist, and Author) on this very topic (including the invalid nature of the books we see floating around that claim womens’ rise to power is to blame for what boys/men do or do not achieve in today’s society) entitled:  “Are Women to Blame for the Decline of Men?”. See the article below:

Kay Hymowitz has a new book out, titled Manning Up: how the rise of women has turned men into boys. She asks: Why are so many young men today goofing off, while their sisters are working hard to graduate with honors or to advance in the workplace? She answers that the growing gender gap in motivation is due to “our cultural uncertainty about the social role of men.” In ancient times, say 50 years ago, a man was expected to be the primary or sole breadwinner, while his wife was expected mostly to raise the kids and tend to the home. Today, Hymowitz writes, “with women moving ahead in our advanced economy, husbands and fathers are now optional.” The result, according to Hymowitz, is a growing proportion of young men asking: “Why should they grow up? No one needs them anyway. There’s nothing they have to do.”

Hymowitz’s argument is not new. Her book is just the latest of many to assert that the rise of women has led to the decline of men. Previous books in the series include Why Boys Fail, The Decline of Males, The Trouble with Boys, and the granddaddy of them all, The War Against Boys by Christina Hoff Sommers, a scholar at the American Enterprise Institute. Sommers asserted that the disengagement of boys from school is the result of a feminist conspiracy led by Hillary Clinton and Carol Gilligan.

If these authors are correct, or even close, then the prospects for young men today are bleak. We’re not going back to the bad old days of the 1960′s and earlier when women were denied equal opportunity in school and in the workplace. So, we’re stuck with young men playing Call of Duty while their sisters prepare to run the real world. Or so one might think after reading these books.

But these authors are mistaken. Yes, boys and young men today are on average less motivated to achieve than their sisters are, both in school and in the workplace (although there are some notable exceptions; think Mark Zuckerberg). When I ask high school principals what proportion of highest honors among their graduating seniors are awarded to girls, the answer today is usually more than 2-to-1 in favor of the girls – not only at public schools, but also at elite private schools. Women now constitute 58% of graduates at 4-year colleges and universities, but generally account for more than 70% of those graduating with highest honors (excepting trade and technical schools). In the workplace, CUNY demographer Andrew Beveridge has documented that the average young woman working in major American cities such as New York and Dallas now significantly out-earns the average young man. She’s better-educated, and working harder, than her brother is.

But the basic premise of all these authors is simply wrong. The rise of women is not to blame for the decline of men. At least three lines of evidence make this clear.

First, the gender gap in motivation is clearly evident by the time kids are 6 years old. Over the past eight years, I have interviewed hundreds of girls and boys, and their teachers, at schools across the United States and Canada, from British Columbia to Florida, from Nova Scotia to California. I have listened to 2nd grade boys who tell me, “School is stupid. School is for girls. School is a waste of time.” Teachers who have been in the profession for 20 years or longer tell me that they seldom heard such comments from boys back in the early 1990′s; today such comments are common. But it’s rare to hear such sentiments from elementary-school girls. I have never heard a 2nd-grade girl say, “School is for boys.”

I have asked these young boys why they hate school so much. Not one has responded with any remark suggesting a “cultural uncertainty about the social role of men” – the main factor which Hymowitz & Co believe is responsible. Instead, the boys say things like: “I got in trouble just for throwing snowballs . . .the art teacher didn’t like my drawing, she said it was too violent . . .They make us sit still and be quiet all the time, I got sent to the principal’s office just for standing up.” Forty years ago, boys were allowed to throw snowballs at school. When I was growing up in the 1960′s, attending a public school in Ohio (Lomond Elementary), it wasn’t unusual for teachers to join us in snowball fights, on school property. That would be unthinkable today. Forty years ago, kindergarten was about playing duck-duck-goose, or singing in rounds. Today, American kindergarten is about learning phonics. Forty years ago, a boy could dress up as a cowboy for the school Halloween party and even bring a plastic gun to school as part of his costume. Today, a 9-year-old boy who brings an obviously fake plastic gun to school for the Halloween party risks disciplinary action.

Second, the gender gap in motivation is not universal. Urban Prep is a public boys’ charter school on the South Side of Chicago, serving primarily African-American males from low-income families. The first class graduated last June: 100% of those young men are now attending 4-year colleges or universities. Most of them are the first in their families ever to go to college. A team of administrators from that school gave a presentation at a conference I hosted last October. They described how they work hard to create a “band of brothers” culture: a culture in which it’s cool for boys to earn top grades. That’s not the culture offered by Akon, 50 Cent, or Eminem. By creating an alternative culture in which being smart raises your status in the eyes of your male peers, these administrators have shown that boys today can achieve at the same level as their sisters.

Third, the same gender gap in motivation is seen in Middle Eastern countries such as Qatar, a country which makes no pretence of offering equal rights to women. Despite the oppressiveness of the Qatari patriarchy, roughly 70% of recent graduates from Qatar University have been women. I have corresponded with concerned parents in Qatar who wonder why their daughter works so hard, while their son is unmotivated. Several of these parents have suggested that the problem is the patriarchy. “Our sons get everything handed to them on a plate, while our daughters have to work hard to overcome endless obstacles,” one parent told me.

Do you see the problem? Hymowitz and Co want to blame the decline of men on the rise of women. Some parents in Qatar want to put the blame on an all-powerful patriarchy. They are invoking opposite explanations for the same observed phenomenon, namely: girls today have more motivation than their brothers. In fact, neither feminism nor patriarchy is to blame for this phenomenon.

I have spent the past eight years trying to understand the growing gender gap in motivation. There are other factors in play besides those mentioned above. I agree with Hymowitz that the gender gap matters. But if we are going to do something about it, we have to stop blaming successful women for the problems of boys and young men.

Leonard Sax MD PhD is a physician, psychologist, and the author of Boys Adrift: the five factors driving the growing epidemic of unmotivated boys and underachieving young men (Basic Books), and Girls on the Edge (Basic Books, 2010).

***The examples the author has provided us with here really gives powerful examples that directly debunk these accusations about Women’s Rights and it’s effects on men as a gender.  I think there’s a lot to think about here and I’m sure the people out there who desperately claw to blame women and our oh-so-evil desire to succeed and have equality like everyone else will have their panties in a bunch over these sorts of facts.***

Testing, Testing!

This is just a test-post because I got some error message from wordpress when I logged in saying to contact them with a “content problem” and I did….but they never answered me and now my posting is magically enabled again, so I guess whatever the “content problem” was….is no longer an issue.

 

Good, then I can get back to posting

Nerd-Stuff: Biology & Genes? Lies.

As most of you know, I always thought the random “biological” term applied to so many different aspects of human behaviors were crap.  I also think that things like “genes” ruling everything is ridiculous.  I am not at all a believer in matter just being…..matter.  I find the idea of a Mechanical Universe (Newtonian Physics) to be utterly ridiculous.

I also think a large majority of Western Medicine and commonly accepted “Scientific Beliefs” (I use quotations because to me most of it is as archaic and simple-minded as the Bible) are based in humans being too lazy to study and explain things like:

Mind over Matter– (ie: our thoughts directly control and shape matter)

The Law Of Attraction– (ie:  our thoughts directly manifest our reality whether negative or positive and our conscious minds are virtually useless to us)

The Placebo Effect/Holistic Health– (ie:  modern drugs are useless and/or harmful and simple meditation and subconscious programming is far more useful in healing/health than all the doctors and drugs in the world)…

There are many kinds of theories that are much better than the nonsense our children are being taught about Science, the junk doctors and pharm companies peddle to the masses, and the Scientific reasoning that was long ago disproven….and there are also much better ways to handle ailments/health/stress/disorders than any of the former.

Check out this video featuring one of the big names in EFT “tapping” (ie:  reprogramming your brain to handle traumas/emotions/thought processes/illness):

 

Related Articles

• The study of humankind: questions, answers, and good faith | Gene Expression (blogs.discovermagazine.com)
• Researchers identify molecular predictor of metastatic prostate cancer (eurekalert.org)

Ladies, Dating Should Be Easy!

Ladies, most of the advice/tips/info you’ve gotten over the years on men is truly useless nonsense.

There are many things that get thrown around in regards to dating advice/romance advice for women out there.  Some is dramatically one way (man-pleasing) while some is the radical opposite (ignoring/being a bitch to men) and neither is accurate.

I have been reading a lot of the more popular dating stuff on both sides of the fence for women to get a better feel for what sort of madness women are buying into, and here’s the verdict:  Most of it is utter and complete crap!

Always keeping score (ala  “The Rules“) is childish and worse…..OBVIOUS.  Men are NOT stupid.  In the same way that we ladies can “sense” when a guy is playing games, trying too hard to come off “masculine”, and being generally fake…men can ALSO sense these things.  When either gender tries too hard to be bad-ass or supplicating guess what?  Your insecurity is beyond obvious.  And also a huge, undeniable turn-off!

Being too much of a bitch is not attractive and it also screams:  “There is something else wrong with me that I’m trying to cover up by acting ultra-mega-hardcore and unappreciative!”  Never complimenting him, ignoring ALL his calls, being generally cunty and unappreciative isn’t going to keep the RIGHT kind of guy around long anymore than being a doormat will.

Mostly because IT’S FAKE!!!

It’s simplistic to say that men will sniff that out just as fast as you would…but it’s also true.  Men aren’t known for their “instinct” like women are, but it’s mostly that they tend to ignore it a little longer and just don’t know WHY they’ve stopped being attracted to you.  It’s because you’re being fake, that’s why.

The same goes for the radical other end of the spectrum:  Appeasing him, waiting on him, helping him, praising him constantly, etc.

Women were (wrongfully) taught through things we saw on tv growing up and things we’ve seen in the media that “attractive women” need to be HOT and appease their man (cook, help him, be nurturing, etc).

WRONG!  That advice is also utter crap.

Those are things his MOTHER does and no matter how “flattered” he seems….no matter how much he seems to “like it” when you fall all over yourself appreciating his every word and helping him when he vents to you about his shitty day….he does NOT want to be nurtured (save for maybe when he’s sick or it’s an absolute emergency).

Like everything else in life, there is a fine line.  Men want to FEEL good around you.  In order to feel good around you, he has to feel like he has found himself a well-balanced, desirable, self-respecting woman.

These are things he needs to feel to be content with you….and they also happen to be things that are really easy for YOU to do:

He wants to feel appreciated for things he has EARNED appreciation for: (meaning don’t “appreciate” him for showing up on time, planning a date, or getting up on time for work….those are things he should already be doing).  Appreciate when he goes out of his way to do something generous for you (picks out your fav food at the grocery store then cooks it or always picks you up for dates/hanging out and would never ask you to “meet up” with him)….things of that nature are worth telling him he’s awesome and you think he’s thoughtful.  Falling all over yourself just because he showed up is NOT.

Feeling relatively secure in his masculinity: Again….this does NOT mean stroking his ego or lavishing him with compliments.  That will make you seem not just desperate….but also false/supplicating and it’s NOT attractive to him.

This means that you should STOP babying him and/or helping him solve his problems.  When he has a problem, your should listen to him and simply express that you think he’s smart/capable/resourceful and that you know he’ll “figure this one out”.  That’s it.  Support him.  But never EVER help him.

As much as you WANT help and even though you think he seems SO pleased when you help him…..deep down, he feels that you think he’s incapable of helping himself (ie:  emasculated).  Be there for him, but stop the crazy cycle of running around trying to fix him/his problems/his stresses.  He’ll love you more for it in the end.

Feeling sexy: Yes, ladies….men are just as insecure about their sexy-level as the ladies are.  They just “feel sexy” in different ways than we do.  You should smile at him when you’re genuinely having fun (not fake-ass kissing smiles), tell him looks hot (when he does), and show him a reasonable amount of affection.

In the same vein, you should never tease him relentlessly about his height, his looks, or his brains.  Not unless you have an obviously sarcastic repertoire that you BOTH enjoy and engage in as the norm in your relationship.

You should NOT hang all over him, act jealous, compliment every outfit/hairstyle/cologne he wears, or talk about how brilliant and amazing he is all the time.  Again….this goes back to “appreciating him when he has earned it”.  Over-complimenting = overcompensation for both genders.  He wants to feel like he has earned your compliments…..not like you randomly spew them out to keep him “hooked” on you (or any man that will have you, for that matter).

BE FUN!! This is something that women somehow manage to misinterpret and/or read too much into.  Being fun just means that you have  a good sense of humor, aren’t hyper-critical (of him or others), and don’t bust into tears over things that don’t matter much.

Every man HATES it when you’re gossipy, talk down about other women (such as when you see a skanky chick out somewhere…just zip your lips because it’s rude and makes you seem insecure), or complain about little things like the waiter taking too long to get your drinks or how there’s no parking….

This does NOT mean that you need to “entertain” him.  You don’t need to be all into parties, drinking, jumping off cliffs, and going out every night of the week.  As a matter of fact, most men enjoy cuddling up and watching movies with you more than anything else and consider that just as much “fun” as the more wild type of stuff.

*Unless you plan on dictating the movie every time, complaining about the main actress’s bad boob-job, and talking through the entire thing….see how NOT fun that sort of woman is??*

Save the griping and overt “realism” for your girlfriends and platonic guy friends.  The same way that you want to have fun with your date/boyfriend is the same way he wants to have fun with you.  You don’t want to hear him crying about his job and how his sport’s team lost all night, do you??  Of course not.

Be a little feisty! All men and I mean ALL men like a bit of a feisty woman (whether they admit it or not) and this one is another that draws a fine line.  If you’re a more reserved, quiet sort of woman then small things can be enough “feist” (yes, that’s an imaginary word) to make you a little spicy to him.  Grab his hand and pull him along with you once in awhile, come up with an out-of-the-ordinary date idea every now and then, or even just smack him on the ass out of the blue and say nothing…..

It doesn’t really matter what you do as long as you let your “fire” come out in little glimmers every now and then.  Those are the things about you that he appreciates and make you unique and more attractive to him.  Being YOU.  Your sense of self and confidence DO matter because your looks will only get you so far…..your brains will only get you so far….your success/talents will only get you so far.  Those things don’t make him FEEL anything other than maybe admiration, temporary sexual stimulation, pride in you, etc….

But those are things he could “feel” for any woman he knows.  Including the ones who are just “friends” or just sex-buddies.

At the end of the day, he wants someone who makes him feel special and is always a breath of fresh air just like you do!!  This doesn’t mean you have to be perfect or never be negative….it just means that he’ll be willing to accept a lot MORE of your actual flaws if you don’t flaunt them as your main character trait all the time.

He won’t mind your bitchy days, your emotional outbursts, or your “ugly” moments nearly as much if he knows that you’re a well-balanced, unique, and fun girl who really does care for him.

He’ll also be more and more inspired to do sweet, romantic, and generally awesome things that make you feel like a princess if you actually BECOME a self-assured woman who can be both “tough and feisty” while still being “sweet and caring” at the same time.  It’s not hard to find that happy medium….most women really ARE both of those things.

We’re just used to being conditioned to think we have to be one or the other.  We’re also conditioned to think that we need to “play a game” or be false to hook a man and keep him.  We don’t.  Be the best YOU that you already know you are and be happy about yourself and men will already want to spend time with you.  Keeping them around just means that you have to remember that you’re all of those positive things and NOT constantly act insecure (by being too cunty or too supplicating).

Keeping a quality guy around is actually pretty easy when you come to terms with the fact that he’ll adore you more if you adore yourself and the life you’re living.  When you shut out all the noise (the bizarre dating advice, the weird stereotypes, and the well-intentioned but bad advice from your loved ones…) and just enjoy the moment, enjoy him, and enjoy your time spent together….dating becomes pretty easy!

Live Coverage: Memorial in Tucson | The Rundown News Blog | PBS NewsHour | PBS

For those of you who missed President Obama’s live speech tonight dedicated to the victims of the Tucson shootings, check out the video of his speech:

Live Coverage: Memorial in Tucson | The Rundown News Blog | PBS NewsHour | PBS.

Reduce Your Stress

Image via Wikipedia

Kick Stress’s Ass!

We all know what it feels like to be stressed out.  Sometimes it’s what is known as “good stress” (like exciting situations), but more often than not it’s “bad stress” for most people.  Given that the holidays and their aftermath often cause a lot of lingering stress for everyone, I figured it’s a good time to offer some simple stress-reduction tips that will make you feel better and also help you stick to whatever your New Year’s Resolutions are without losing your mind entirely.

Stress is a lot more serious than we think it is.  We all casually say “Oh, I’m so stressed out” and then go about our day, but stress is something that affects not just your mood, but your physical and mental well-being.  It affects your relationships with others, your weight, your cognitive function, your mood, your hormones, and even your immune system.  And that’s just to name a few!  Stop considering stress to be an accepted part of your day!

Your adrenal glands produce cortisol which is an important hormone in regulating everything that happens in your body including:

• Proper glucose metabolism
• Regulation of blood pressure
• Insulin release for blood sugar maintanence
• Immune function
• Inflammatory response

Stress hormones are meant to be secreted in small bursts and doses known as “fight or flight”.  This was something that meant survival in earlier times in history, but are now secreted regularly in the human body over simple emotional moments, overuse of stimulants, poor diet, and underlying health problems.  This leads to imbalances (too high or too low) of cortisol and overuse of the adrenal glands which can lead to Adrenal Fatigue and even Adrenal Failure!

It’s just as important to return the body and mind to the relaxation stage as it is to have the ability to produce adrenaline and react in emergencies/stressful situations.  That’s the part modern humans forget to worry about and can lead to all sorts of serious problems and can really alter your happiness and enjoyment of life in general.  Negative effects of NOT learning to stimulate your relaxation responses are:

• Impaired cognitive performance
• Suppressed thyroid function
• Blood sugar imbalances such as hyperglycemia
• Decreased bone density
• Decrease in muscle tissue
• Higher blood pressure
• Lowered immunity and inflammatory responses in the body, slowed wound healing, and other health consequences
• Increased abdominal fat, which is associated with a greater amount of health problems than fat deposited in other areas of the body. Some of the health problems associated with increased stomach fat are heart attacks, strokes, the development of metabolic syndrome, higher levels of “bad” cholesterol (LDL) and lower levels of “good” cholesterol (HDL), which can lead to other health problems!

Stress is no joke and there are some things that REALLY exacerbate your stress and also cause Adrenal Fatigue as well as hormone imbalances that also affect your mind, body, and overall health/well-being.

Things that contribute to the feeling of stress, weight gain, fatigue during your day, moodiness, muscle aches, irritation/anger, lack of concentration, and all of things we hate to feel most are things most of us tend to overdue:

1.  Caffeine:  Caffeine causes the Adrenal Glands to overproduce/underproduce the stress hormone and actually makes you feel much MORE tired and MORE cranky than you would have without it.  Cut your caffeine down to 1/3 (or less) of whatever you’re currently ingesting and after your body adjust a bit (usually a few days), you will feel much more energetic, your mood will be more balanced, and your mental focus will be BETTER (even though you think that caffeine helps all of those things, it only does so for a short period of time and then causes you to feel worse much longer).

If you’re deeply in love with your caffeine and think that you cannot live without the energy boost, then I’d suggest some good quality Ginseng Supplements not just for energy, but for a whole list of health benefits including stress reduction:

• As per modern research, ginseng is classified as an adaptogen, which refers to substances that increase the body’s resistance against fatigue, stress, trauma, anxiety, etc. and do not cause any side effects, even when taken in slightly higher doses. Ginseng is also recommended as an aphrodisiac and stimulant.
• Ginseng is widely used in the treatment of diabetes, especially type II diabetes.
• It is also used to cure sexual dysfunction in men and is believed to enhance libido.
• Ginseng properties include those, which help to lower blood cholesterol and blood sugar.
• Ginseng is very popular as an anti-aging supplement. It is very effective in preventing some of the major effects of aging.
• It is said to be effective in the treatment of cancer too.
• Ginseng health benefits include its ability to fight flu, cold, cough and other infections. It has been observed that this herb is effective in fighting rheumatism, gout, neuralgia, anemia, stress, insomnia, headache etc.
• Enhancing memory and improving stamina are among some of the ginseng benefits.
• This herb is used to normalize menstrual cycles and to ease childbirth.
• It is said to be a stimulant for the immune system as it triggers the production of chemicals that fights viruses.
• It protects the liver from the negative effects of drugs and is helpful in preventing the formation of clots.

Ginseng works so much better than caffeine on your energy and mind and actually IMPROVES the way you feel each day the longer you use it (in the correct doses, of course).  I’d recommend what I *personally* use as a supplement:  “Pure Encapsulations ADR Formula”.  They’re a bit pricey, but you can find them discounted on sites like Amazon and Organic Supplement websites. *This product contains a blend of herbs and natural hormones that help regulate/balance Adrenal Function*.

Another recommendation I have for stress reduction is to take “Pure Encapsulations Ashwagandha” (I also take these daily) for added stress reduction.  *This herb has many uses/health benefits, but is also excellent for reducing stress and improving mood*.

Both of these products positively affect your mental and physical health and will make you feel much more energetic, focused, and stress-free.

2.  Refined Sugar:  Yes….we all love it, we all snack on it during our stressful days for a quick boost and a little simple pleasure, but too much (HELLOOOO soda-junkies?!) has the opposite affect that you’re going for just like caffeine.  It has many of the same negative side effects as caffeine on your long term mental and physical health.

I was a soda-junkie myself (to some degree) and also love things like chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter cups randomly throughout my day, so I understand….but cutting down to less refined sugar and maybe just giving yourself a “treat” like that once per day (I have it just as a bedtime snack now) really makes you feel infinitely better!!
I’m not saying to give up your treats, but during the daytime/workday when we all feel our sleepiest, crankiest, and most likely to eat/drink things that are terrible for us…..just do what I do and grab a handful of your favorite cereal that’s a little sweet (I love Honey Nut Cheerios) so that you still get a sugar-fix, but aren’t grabbing a candy-bar out of the machine to stay alert.  I also eat things like Cashews (yes, they’re high in fat and have sodium, but just buy the ones with sea salt and eat a few at a time) when I’m feeling hungry and fatigued since the protein will fill you up and energize you without the more negative effects.

Simple things you can do to improve your stress levels is making sure to get your run-of-the-mill vitamins like Vitamins C, D, E, A, and B Complex.  These are all VERY important in reducing stress, regulating your hormones, and improving cognitive and immune health!  So, don’t forget your vitamins!

Most importantly, do relaxation exercises and/or meditation!!!  Yes, I know….it seems so hippie-dippy and time-consuming, but it really isn’t.  Find a GOOD meditation audio that you can just download on your Ipod and listen to for 10 minutes on your lunch or a little deep breathing before bedtime will vastly improve your stress levels, your energy, and even your sleep at night.

If you’re not TOO into the idea of meditation, then you should probably stick with simple audios that are only a few minutes long or even just practice “breathing as Buddha does” (a proper deep breath includes pushing your belly out both while inhaling and exhaling) while settling your mind and clearing the mental chatter.

There are tons of free audios for meditation as well as simple subliminal audios that you can find just about anywhere on the net.  I have at least 100 different meditations on my Ipod so that I can be stress free whenever I feel the need.

If you’re already into meditation and/or are familiar with it, I highly recommend you do dynamic meditation and do a guided study course to improve your skills.  Dynamic meditation differs from regular “relaxation” meditation by taking you into a slightly more aware state of mind and using the meditations to do things like improve physical healing, implement law of attraction, learn faster, have better intuition, sleep more deeply, etc.

For that I HIGHLY recommend the courses that have been around for the longest time:  The Silva Method family of meditation/mental exercise courses.  They have tons to choose from, but keep in mind these are “study courses” that will initially take at least an hour or more out of your day just to listen to the lessons and then do a guided meditation for practice.  However, they are absolutely worth it and of all their programs, I really recommend “The Silva Life System” for all your general stress-reducing needs.  (If you don’t want to pay for any of the systems, subscribing by email will get you plenty of free meditation audios, newsletters, special offers, webinars, and other fun freebies).

For more quick freebies to meditation, here is one site with a lot of free audios as well:  Free Meditation Exercises

In closing, the most obvious and simple things that we already know are “bad for stress” are also the most common things that we humans tend to USE to combat stress, as well.  This doesn’t make much sense and it’s important to realize the serious and long-lasting effects that stress can have on your body and mind and work on alleviating it and subsequently making yourself feel much better in the process!

*Feel free to ask about the other things you can do, what meditations are best, and what Herbal remedies you can try in addition to the ones listed.*